


Insane

by orphan_account



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Schizophrenia, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 05:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12204987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Gabriel is facing his demons yet again. They've only gotten worse this time, but Jack will be able to pull him out of it. Right?Trigger warnings for: distorted reality, hallucinations, delusions, suicide mention, self-harm mention





	Insane

**LIFE**   
**Things keep ending up this way (come and get off)**   
**Another notch is carved away**   
**In the thoughts of mass decay**   
**Funny how things end up this way**

  
          They were everywhere. The strange, dark, almost shadow-like creatures. They were just everywhere. Watching and surrounding a certain former Overwatch agent. He was the one that had started Blackwatch, but that was far behind him. Now, Gabriel was backed against a wall, close to crying. "Just . . . Go away!" he yelled at the odd creatures. "Stay the fuck away from me!"

  
**Beaten down, dominated by its sound**   
**Growing deep within my head**   
**Softly dying, its soul is shed**   
**Eating me all up inside**   
**This cancer finds everything I hide**   
**Living my life horrified**   
**Nothing will keep this pacified and outta my life**   
**LIFE**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**

  
          "You failed," one of the creatures hissed. Its red eyes were glowing softly and they were narrowed into little slits. The creatures wouldn't stop talking, telling the man things that he knew were not true. But were they?  
          "You're not worth it," another one growled.  
          "Should have killed yourself a long time ago," one whispered into his ear.  
          "Stop . . .! Stoppit! Just shut up!" Gabriel shouted at them.  
          "He doesn't love you, you know," one persisted.  
          "You're delusional," another cackled.  
          "He's not real. And he never was," one stated with a snarl.  
          "Go cut yourself again, bastard," yet another sighed, rolling its eyes.  
          The former agent covered his ears, and shook his head in disbelief and fear. He shut his eyes tightly so he wouldn't have to look at the beings before him. "Leave me alone!" he shouted. "Just shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shu—"  
          "Gabe?!" a familiar voice called out to the man. It sounded worried and afraid almost. Gabriel opened his eyes.

  
**Satisfaction is delayed (come and get off)**   
**Its motivation is displayed**   
**Finding its misogyny**   
**Funny how I die and go away (come and get off)**

  
          "J-Jack? Is th-that you?" he stuttered. He looked through the dark figures that were the creatures, and saw his boyfriend Jack Morrison. Tears swelled in his dark brown eyes and a sob escaped his throat. "J-Jack be careful!" he warned. "They-They'll hurt you!"  
          "Gabriel, honey, there's nothing there," Jack almost whispered as he slowly approached him. He knew how volatile the man could be in this state. "It's just me," he told him softly. "Y-you're okay."  
          "No . . ." Gabriel whispered brokenly. "I-I'm not . . .!" He suddenly jumped and shrieked in fear when one of the creatures grabbed his arm and whispered something to him. "Let me go!" he screamed. He was shaking, hyperventilating, and now he was crying. It always broke Jack's heart to see his boyfriend like this.

  
**Beaten down, dominated by its sound**   
**Growing deep within my head**   
**Softly dying, its soul is shed**   
**Eating me all up inside**   
**This cancer finds everything I hide**   
**Living my life horrified**   
**Nothing will keep this pacified and outta my life**   
**LIFE**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**

  
          "Gabe, baby," Jack spoke softly, "you're okay. It's okay. I'm here now."  
          "It's not real, it's not real, it's not real," Gabriel kept repeating over and over until he was almost screaming it. "It's not real! It's not fucking real! None of you are!"  
          "I'm real! I'm right here!" Jack pleaded with him. He reached out and took Gabriel's hand.  
          Gabriel jumped and whimpered, but managed to give Jack's hand a squeeze as if confirming that he was indeed real.  
          "I'm real," Jack murmured. "I'm real, and I'm here. Just . . . f-focus on me okay?"

  
**I'm constantly beat up inside**   
**And I'm the one to blame**   
**No one can relate to me**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**   
**Does nobody know I'm INSANE**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**

  
          Gabriel tried his best to focus on the other man. He stared into Jack's bright blue eyes, and gripped tightly onto his hand. Jack's hand was serving as an anchor for the moment, the anchor between what was real, and what was in Gabriel's head. Slowly, very slowly, the creatures started to fade away into dust until there was nothing left of them. There was just Gabriel and Jack.

  
**Beaten down, dominated by its sound**   
**Living my life horrified**   
**Nothing will keep this pacified and outta my life**

  
          "I'm here, Gabe," Jack murmured softly. He kissed Gabriel's forehead and then pulled him into a tight, comforting hug. He didn't want to let him go. He didn't want him to go through another schizophrenic episode again. "I'm real . . . I'm here . . . I'm not leaving."  
          "Jack," Gabriel's voice cracked as he hugged his boyfriend back, crying softly into his shoulder. "I-I was so sc-scared! Th-they said that-that you weren't r-real, and, and . . . and . . .!"  
          "It's all right," Jack whispered as he gently stroked Gabriel's head. "Shh . . . I'm here. You're okay."

  
**Beaten down, dominated by its sound**   
**Growing deep within my head**   
**Softly dying, its soul is shed**   
**Eating me all up inside**   
**This cancer finds everything I hide**   
**Living my life horrified**   
**Nothing will keep this pacified and outta my life**   
**LIFE**   
**Does nobody know I'm insane**   
**Does nobody know I'm INSANE**

  
          "Hey." Jack slowly pulled away from the hug and gently cupped Gabriel's face. "You wanna know what's real, Gabe? My love for you." He softly kissed him on the lips, earning a soft gasp from the other man. "That's real. That's never fading away." He kissed his boyfriend's hand. "I promise."  
          Gabriel couldn't help but smile through his tears, and he hugged Jack one more time. "I love you . . ." he whispered. "I love you so much."  
          Jack smiled at him, holding him close to his body. "I love you too . . ."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after I had just gotten over a really bad psychotic breakdown, since I, myself, am schizophrenic. The song really resonates with me and how I personally feel with dealing with schizophrenia. Please note, however, that the word "insane" can be considered a slur against psychotic people like me. I personally use the term to describe myself, but you should never use it to describe anyone psychotic without their permission.


End file.
